Back from Iraq

By Matt

I was walking through my local supermarket parking lot on my way to pick up some Pepsi the other day when I stopped mid-step.

Something felt odd.

The obvious answer might have been that I was in a parking lot a few blocks away from my apartment rather than a desert thousands of miles away. Another apparent answer would be that I wasn't wearing body armor, carrying an assault rifle, or getting shot at. But that couldn't explain what I was feeling.

Then, it hit me: The smell was missing.

As I walked through the wet parking lot on a crisp Northwest morning, all I could smell was the clean smell of autumn. There was no hint of burning garbage, or creeks made of decomposing trash heaps. I smiled, took a deep breath, and continued my mission.

I've had quite a few moments like this since my return late last month. Everything seems so different. I've felt like I've been living somebody else's life since I came home, like I'm living in somebody else's skin.

Take your life right now: Where you are, who you spend your time with, what you are doing. Imagine trying to revert to this life after a year of spending time with other people, thousands of miles away, often in the presence of danger.

It has been incredibly difficult trying to fall back into some of my old routines. Certain situations seem to bring these feelings out more than others. Whenever I've been in a large group setting like walking through the mall, or in a crowded bar, I've found myself being overwhelmed by the intensity of the sights and sounds.

Lately, however, it seems that I've found my groove. I've had quite a few experiences like my parking-lot epiphany since my return stateside, but even though it feels unnatural to be without the smell of burning trash and sewage water, I don't miss it at all. I'll take my Pepsi and my crisp autumn morning. It's good to be home.

Matt is a sergeant in the Stryker Brigade based out of Ft. Lewis, WA. He recently returned from a tour of duty in Iraq. During his tour, he wrote a series of dispatches for the site, linked below.

Dispatches from Iraq series links

• Dispatches from Iraq 8
  
  
• Dispatches from Iraq 7



• Dispatches from Iraq 6



• Dispatches from Iraq 5



• Dispatches from Iraq 4



• Dispatches from Iraq 3



• Dispatches from Iraq 2



• Dispatches from Iraq 1



• Dispatches from Iraq 5 feedback



• Reader feedback to Dispatches from Iraq 4



• Message from the mother-in-law of a fallen soldier



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