The Biz
Pet Peeves.
Every writer has the stuff they read that makes them roll their eyes or want to gag.
I'm not talking about actual rules of grammar, or Associated Press style, or company style. I'm talking purely the things you come across that you would never use in a million years. Whether you're right or wrong doesn't matter. These are matters of personal taste.
Here's a list of items I would love to see disappear from sports copy forever. I'm not taking jabs at anyone specific here; I'm just talking about my own personal dislikes as a writer and reader. And, no, you don't get a medal if you Google my name and point out if I've used any of these. I'm sure you could find a couple. Deadlines and brain cramps can do funny things to writers.
*"Enjoyed." As in: "Derrek Lee enjoyed a 5-for-5 day at the plate," or something similar. How do we know he enjoyed it? For all we know, the batter who had a big day at the plate, the pitcher who threw a two-hitter, or the wide receiver who caught 11 passes for 132 yards might have had a huge argument with his wife before the game, channeled his anger into his performance during the game, and was still ticked off afterwards.
I mean, David Wells pitched a perfect game hung over. Do you think he enjoyed it? Maybe when it was done, but I bet detested every second of the process. So unless someone actually says in a quote, "Shucks, fellas, I really enjoyed things up at the plate today," keep the "enjoyed" out of your story.
*"Interesting." One of the most presumptuous words in any writer's lexicon. Say you're reading a story on Super Bowl XXXVI, and you come across a passage like "Perhaps the most interesting aspect of the game was Mike Martz's stubborn insistence on never giving Marshall Faulk the ball, even as the Patriots repeatedly got to Kurt Warner and disrupted the receivers."
Hello? The readers have brains in their heads. They can figure out what is and isn't interesting without you telling them. If you have to explain to your readers that something is interesting, you're probably not doing a good enough job describing the action.
*"Blogosphere." That's the first, and hopefully last, time that word will ever appear on this site. God, do I hate that word. It is the type of irritating trendy buzzword that makes me want to claw out my eyes so I never have to see it again. Just like how, in the mid-1990s, the word "cyber" was used to create all sorts of cutesy phrases. That word at the beginning of this paragraph, the one I just said I would never use again, is now the first word ever to be officially banned from Dave's World.
*"Walk-off" hits in baseball. Never liked it, never will. I think at first I misunderstood the meaning. I thought it implied the person hitting the ball was doing the walking, not the losing team. Turns out it is the other way around. There's nothing really wrong with "walk-off," per se, but it just doesn't do it for me. "Game-winning" works just fine.
*The overly dramatic lead that contrives something epic out of a mundane event. You know: Greg Kite stared towards the heavens as he awaited the ball at the free-throw line. He was fatigued, yes, but he knew he had a job to do. He said a small prayer as the ref tossed him the rock. He dribbled three times ... once in remembrance of his deceased grandma, once for the children starving in Ethiopia, and finally for his little daughter back home. The remaining crowd at the Boston Garden held its collective breath, enveloped by a deafening silence. Kite released and the ball seemed to dance through the air in slow motion, as if performing its own ballet.
The ball clanged off the front rim. The Celtics' lead over Golden State remained 36 points. Moments later, Boston's 110-74 victory was complete.
Seriously ... everyone wants to be Gary Smith. Few can pull it off. When it works, it can make for marvelous reading, but these sorts of leads are completely overdone these days. There's something to be said for just telling us for who won, and why. If you're writing a 10,000-word takeout piece, sure, a small detail can do a wonderful job of explaining the big picture, if you can properly tie them together. If you're writing 500 words on Tony Graffanino's 4-for-4 night, can the drama, already, and get down to the basics.
The Biz 7/27
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