Stuff
Today was going to be the day that Dave's World was going to take things in a new direction. I have these reports on my desk here in my big glass office at Dave's World HQ, combining the sage collective wisdom of all our focus groups and think tanks. They wanted us to scrap our format and write big "trend" pieces with forced tie-ins to current events; tons of buzzwords; plenty of quotes from Academic Types With Important Sounding Titles, and all sorts of easy-to-digest charts and graphs. It even came with a list of people to blame when the page views inevitably go down --like, lazy Dave's World reporters, and the readers being too stupid to understand the think tank's radiant wisdom.
But I can't do it. I can't sell you all out. Dave's World readers want wrestling, Dave's World readers get wrestling. So the focus group reports are going in the trash where they belong.
We have our first big point of wrestling controversy here on the board. The Texas Yankees fan submits:
As for today's posting, again, I really like the site. I do. The stuff is interesting to read or I wouldn't be looking every day.
However (of course), you greatly disrespected Mike Rotundo and Barry Windham this afternoon. Hogan stole that "I Am a Real American" song from them. The WWF came out with this record/tape around 1985-86, and Mean Gean Okerland sang Tutti Frutti, the Junkyard Dog sang something, etc. Actually the Mouth of the South sang a legendary piece, "Eat Your Heart Out Rick Springfield."
Since I've already made a short story long, the point is "I Am a Real American" was dedicated for Rotundo and Windham, who at the time, were the Tag Team Champs. Also, they were Captain Lou Albano's 15th tag team champs. Hogan had this other song, really weird song that they used for his cartoon on NBC around that same time. No one really sung, they just chanted "Hulk" or something. I really don't remember it that well.
Now, I can't remember what I ate for lunch yesterday, but I remember nearly everything I've seen transpire in a wrestling ring in my lifetime. I remember the time Chico Rodriguez scored an upset countout win over Ray The Crippler Stevens because the Superfly came down to ringside and distracted him. I remember when Rudy Diamond was wrestling Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff, ran back to the dressing room to get his t-shirt that said "Paula," got a rise out of the crowd, and then got an extra vicious beating from Mr. Wonderful. I even remember the one time I turned on the AWA and they actually had a good match (The Midnight Rockers vs. Playboy Buddy Rose and Doug Somers in a bloodbath).
But I don't remember Windham and Rotundo coming out to Real American.
I'll take your word for it. But even if it is true, Windham and Rotundo did not deserve to come down to the ring to Real American.
Think about it. The first Wrestlemania. Biggest show ever. Time for people to bring their "A" game. The Hulkster and Mr T. vindicated the Rock n Wrestling Connection by defeating Rowdy Roddy Piper and Mr. Wonderful. Andre the Giant got revenge for his nasty haircut and slammed Big John Studd, then threw money from Studd's Official WWF duffle bag into the crowd. Wendy Richter got her women's belt back from Lelani Kai. King Kong Bundy scored the fastest win ever. And all down the line.
Now, Windham and Rotundo were the ONLY PEOPLE ON THE SHOW WITH THE SPECIFIC TASK OF DEFENDING AMERICA, and they gagged. Worse than Bill Buckner, worse than Chris Webber's phantom timeout in the NCAA finals, worse than Jean Ven Der Velde on the 72d hole at 1999 Open Championship. (Not as bad as the Yankees last year, though). They lost the tag team belts to the Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff. They let the entire nation down.
And you're telling me they deserved to come out to the ring to Real American?
Incidentally, although they were enemies of freedom-loving people everywhere, one truly has to respect what the Sheik and Volkoff accomplished. Think about it -- you have two people who represented polar opposite ideologies -- the Sheik was a well-known philosopher in militant Islamic circles, and Volkoff was sent over here by the Kremlin to prove Soviet superiority. And this was at the time the Russian were occupying Afghanistan. And yet, the two put aside their differences in pursuit of a mutual goal, and attained the highest honor their sport had to offer. There certainly was no "I" in that team.
THIS WEEK'S DAVE'S WORLD CONTEST: A prize will go out to the person who can best explain why the Superfly's opponents didn't just roll out of the way while he spent about an hour climbing the ropes and making a big spectacle of himself before he jumped off the top. Our last two winners received Tacoma Rainiers and Seattle Mariners pocket schedules, respectively, and this week's prize will be of similar value. And yes, if you're wondering, I really do send them out.
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